Raising a Lion Cub? Build the Man … Don’t Break the Boy

Kelly Love
Jun 30
2 min read

This conference season, I’ve been sharing a talk that feels more urgent than ever: Build the man … don’t break the boy.

It’s a call to fathers & mothers, mentors, and men to resist the cultural tide that tells our boys to sit down, be safe, and be silent. And it’s rooted in something deeper than discipline or strategy — it’s rooted in SONSHIP.

Don’t Tame the Lion Cub

God gave boys energy, drive, and fierce strength for a reason. Telling a boy that masculinity is toxic is like telling a bird that wings are dangerous.

A world without masculinity is not a safer world; it is a weaker one. As John Eldredge said:

“Boys do not simply become men; they must be forged, tested, and guided into manhood.”

Boys were created to grow into protectors, providers, and leaders — not by crushing their spirit but by channeling it. Don’t tame the lion cub. Teach him how to use his strength to serve, to build, to defend what matters.

Affirm His Strength & Identity as a Man

In a culture that calls masculinity dangerous, we must speak the opposite into our sons:

“You are strong.”
“You were made to lead, protect, and serve.”
“Your masculinity isn’t a curse — it’s a calling.”

Boys don’t just guess their identity; they receive it from the men around them. Affirm that being male isn’t something to apologize for—it’s a God-given design.

“Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.” — 1 Corinthians 16:13

Encourage Him to Take Risks & Face Discomfort

True sonship doesn’t produce soft men. It produces men who know who they are — and therefore can risk, sacrifice, and endure.

Video games, social media, and online worlds sell boys a counterfeit adventure:

“Video games are fake adventure. They give you the illusion of battle, of conquest, of leveling up — but at the end of the day, you haven’t built anything real. You haven’t fought for anything real. You haven’t improved yourself. It’s a counterfeit version of the adventure men are supposed to have in real life.” — John Lovell

Adventure in the real world means danger, uncertainty, and pain. But it’s also the place where courage, resilience, and manhood are forged.

Sonship Is the Foundation

Confidence to risk doesn’t come from hype — it comes from identity.A boy who knows he is a beloved son — of his earthly father and his Heavenly Father — has nothing to prove, but everything to give.

When we break the boy — by shaming his strength, silencing his voice, or calling his nature toxic — we don’t get a gentler man. We get a bitter, lost, and disconnected man.

But when we build the man without breaking the boy, we raise sons who know their power and their purpose.